And Now We Are Three
by Hughson74
Summary: Thomas wants to feel he belongs but his past wants to remind him he never will. For all the changes Mr Carson has learnt to deal with can he accept that some changes will never take place before helping Thomas? Various characters make an appearance. This is my very first story so I hope it makes the mark, Reviews are very welcome.
1. Chapter 1

Thomas Barrow sat in a pensive state. He had changed, he had become a better person and he was quietly pleased with himself. He had proven to Mr Carson that even through the years of his appalling behavior he had learnt through example.

He was a kinder person, appreciative of those who worked for him and around him. Quick to praise and slow to anger, yet not afraid to draw a line when the staff thought they would have free reign upon the semi retirement of Mr Carson. Of course it had not been his co-workers of many years who had tried to test the waters, rather the newer and younger members.

On a part time basis Thomas had hired Mr Davey Cromwell to replace Mr Mosely, though Mosely still helped whenever he was needed for larger functions. Cromwell was in his mid twenties and thought himself a gift to all women. Naturally the ladies all rolled their eyes and got on with work.

Daisy's hours where now spent between the house and the farm and so Marie was hired to work on the days she was away. Marie was was quiet, polite and above all efficient, which kept Mrs Patmore very happy indeed.

Thomas looked down at the ledgers and sighed deeply, it wasn't that the ledgers were in need of catching up. He prided himself on being organized and like his predecessor he stayed awake many a late night to finish even the most meaningless of tasks in the knowledge that when he woke the next morning all would be in order in the chance some emergency jumped upon them.

No the deep sigh resulted from the desire to want to belong. Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes where married and very happy, Mr Bates and Anna where now joined by little William, Baxter and Mosely were now walking together, Daisy and Andy were also courting, heck even Mrs Patmore and Mr Mason were ever so slowly becoming more than friends.

After the attempt on his own life he had changed and that change had become noticed by all, above all by Lord Grantham, who by whether divine intervention or the good graces of his co-workers, had given him the life line to prove his worth and he had graciously offered Thomas the position of Butler. At finally having reached his dream of this respectful position Thomas had vowed to accept what he was and move on.

However he had realized of late that he very much missed being part of a family, of a real family, he sighed once again, stood up and decided to go and walk around the house. He hoped the fresh air of upstairs would help clear his head. The house was quiet as most of the family was out. Lord Grantham had gone for a walk but would return shortly to join Thomas in the Library to discuss the arrival of the latest books he had ordered. Thomas's trained eyes focused on the furniture looking out for patches of dust, books out order, stray whiskey glasses that may have been uncollected and simultaneously he scanned the floor for any toys that may have been forgotten by the children.

As he walked he remembered his childhood but no smile crossed his face. His childhood was not a cherished memory but rather a preference to be forgotten. He remembered when his mother had died many years ago. Though her loss had disturbed him it had not left him grieving as they had never been close. She had been a distant person, she fed him and clothed him and made sure he did not stray along the wrong path but that was all, there was never a hug or quick kiss on his head. Nor did she yell or berate him but always, always, she kept her distance.

His father on the other hand had been a cruel man, not to others but always to him. Thomas knew why, he knew his father saw in him the truth of his nature, he didn't know how but he knew and he had never shied away from letting him know how he loathed him. The shame he felt that his only son was a sick and twisted person. Sending his son away to work in service was the only way he could face the world, to save himself the agony at having to look him in face each day.

Thomas wiped away an angry tear and swallowed the anger that threatened to rise. Why should he care what that fool man thought? He had risen to the position of butler, he had been entrusted with the care of his Lordship and the entire family and his father could rot in the pits of hell for all he cared.

Daisy walked up along the path that led to Downton Abbey. She was happy, very happy with her lot in life though it had taken her a while to appreciate it. The Abbey was until recently her home, the only home she had known for more than ten years. It had been a rough beginning and she had missed her family greatly as the first years working alongside Mrs Patmore had been terrifying to say the least. Thankfully after her eye operation things had begun to change and now she felt loved like a daughter. Daisy laughed out loud as she realized there was a good opportunity that Mrs Patmore would become her mother, well kind of, more like a step-mother in law if she where to marry Mr Mason.

Daisy tilted her head and thought of William, William had become a very close friend and she had missed him greatly when he had gone to war. It had been so strange when they had married because it was like marrying a brother and though she had never admitted it to anyone she would of been mortified to have been forced to sleep in the same bed as him however fate had determined otherwise when his injuries had only one definite ending. She missed him. They all missed him. She remembered how the staff had cried openly at his death, not the men of course, no, but they all had stood so quiet, frowning at their grief. For William had become the youngest brother of them all, the youngest brother to go to war, the youngest brother whose letters would be read at the table as soon as everyone sat to dinner. They had all in their own way cried for that youngest brother, and perhaps for Mr Carson, Mrs Hughes and Mrs Patmore he had become the youngest son who was lost but never forgotten.

Daisy shook her head slightly and looked up the path towards the house. She hadn't realized how much closer she was and so took a deep breath and let the smile creep back into her face as she knew Mrs Partmore would be happy to see her today. As she walked up that last little hill she noticed a man sitting on one of the benches that dotted the pathway.

As she approached him he stood up and tipped his hat at her and stepped forward "Begging your pardon Miss, but I wanted to ask, does Thomas Barrow still work in this house?"

As had always been the way for Daisy her curiosity was aroused and she was about to blurt out the first question that came to her mind but Mr Masons calm voice reprimanded her in her head and saved her, so instead she nodded politely "yes he does, he's the butler" she answered quietly.

"Oh right, would you mind if I walked up with you? I'd like to talk to him" the man asked again.

Daisy nodded her head and they walked quietly together. For some reason that she couldn't understand Daisy felt very uncomfortable. This man whoever he was made her feel cold inside. He hadn't been rude or uncouth but she just made her want to avoid him. He was thin and tall, more than middle aged. He was dressed simply though his shoes left a little to be desired. His voice was not harsh but neither was it friendly and his eyes, well that was what made her uncomfortable because they where cold, just plain cold.

They reached the back door and Daisy rang the bell. Andy answered.

"Daisy!"

Daisy would usually be very happy to be greeted by Andy after all he was her gentleman friend, but not today, not at this moment.

"Hullo Andy, this gentleman is here to see Mr Barrow" and she stepped aside to let Andy see the man.

Andy had learnt quickly when his girl was not happy and this was one of those moments, he wondered momentarily what had happened but decided it was best to wait when he was alone to ask Daisy.

"Of course, please follow me sir" and with that Andy led the way down to the kitchen.

Mrs Hughes found Thomas standing with his Lordship in the library going over some books.

"Excuse me Mi'Lord" she interrupted quietly " but there is someone down stairs wanting to talk to Mr Barrow"

"Of course Mrs Hughes" his Lordship turned back to Thomas "we've finished here for the moment Barrow"

"Very good Mi'Lord" Thomas bowed his head ever so slightly and then followed Mrs Hughes towards the door that led downstairs. He turned his head and asked her quietly who it was that was waiting for him but she shook her telling him that she'd not a clue, she'd never seen him before.

Thomas opened the door to the stairs allowing Mrs Hughes to walk through first. He had in these last few months having worked side by side with the housekeeper profoundly grown to respect her more than he possibly thought was possible. It was not that he had not respected her before but he had realized that in the past it had been a forced respect only through bitterness. However, since his self-imposed transformation he had seen Mrs Hughes for the person that she had always been, kind, honest, disciplined and maternal. Above all, she was a highly intelligent person, she was his right hand. She had been the only person to defend him in the debacle with Jimmy and she had been one of the few people who had saved his life.

Thomas followed Mrs Hughes down the stairs that led to the kitchen and of course she walked through the doorway into the kitchen nodding her head politely to the gentleman standing near the table. She turned to face the butler has he walked through.

Mrs Hughes along with the rest of the staff knew when the Butler of Downton Abbey was angry. Unlike his predecessor, her husband Mr Charles Carson, Mr Thomas Barrow did not go red in the face for Mr Barrow by nature was pale and when he became angry he became as white as a sheet. At this moment however Mr Barrow was ghostly.

Thomas stood there with his jaw clenched, the muscles on his face stiff as timber. His eyes bore a hole into the face of the man standing opposite him. The man for his part almost snarled in contentment.

"Hullo there boy" he hissed coldly.

"What are you doing here?"

"Mr Barrow!?" Mrs Hughes exclaimed rather surprised. It was not for her to reproach the butler however she had not expected him to be so rude.

Thomas called upon all his strength not to be rude to Mrs Hughes, it was not after all her fault that the man standing in the kitchen had even been allowed in the house. He turned and looked slowly around to Mrs Patmore and Daisy then back to the housekeeper.

"Mr Barrow?" Mrs Hughes asked again calmly for she had noticed the effort the butler made, she had noticed the inner turmoil of his eyes.

Thomas looked again to Mrs Hughes and closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply he opened them again and the look he gave her scared her but before he could speak the man spoke for him.

"A pleasure Mrs Hughes, I'm Harry, Mr Harry Barrow. Thomas' father'.

Before Daisy had even realized the water jug that she held slipped silently through her fingers and crashed to the floor with a resounding crack.


	2. And Now We Are Three - The Calm is Over

"What in the world!?" as always Charles Carson's booming voice entered the room before he did.

"I'm sorry Mr Carson it was an accident" Daisy responded from behind the table while on all fours trying to find the broken pieces of the jar.

Carson was about to babble on about the necessity for care in the kitchen when he noticed the presence of the stranger standing in the kitchen.

"I beg your pardon, who are you?" he asked while at the same time quickly glancing at his wife.

"Mr Carson this is Mr Harry Barrow, Mr Barrows father" his wife offered.

While other persons would hear his wife's voice as polite and courteous Carson had worked long enough to decipher the true tones that hung in the air. He was quite familiar with this particular tone and she was far from being courteous. He glanced quickly at Mr Barrow and decided upon a quick course of action.

"Mr Barrow perhaps you would like to take your father to your pantry. I'm sure you've a lot of catching up to do and we wouldn't like to invade your privacy"

"I'd appreciate that Mr Carson, I've not seen my boy in a long while" Barrow Senior responded before his son could. Carson's eyebrows shot up momentarily before awaiting Thomas to reply.

Thomas however would have none of it "I'm sorry but I've not got the time at the moment Mr Carson. Lord Grantham is expecting some guests shortly and we are to make changes for the dinner. Perhaps another time" he turned to the housekeeper "Mrs Hughes would you be kind enough to join me? I would like your opinion on which silver to use" and with that he stormed off.

Mrs Hughes knew very well that there were no guests arriving, she knew Thomas needed no such help but she also knew that in this moment he needed her support.

"I am sorry Mr Barrow" she offered "but he is quite right, we've a large party arriving shortly. If you want tell me where you are staying I shall let your son know"

"Thank you Mrs Hughes. I'm staying at the Lions Inn, you can tell the boy I'll be waiting for him" and with that Barrow Senior left the kitchen followed by Carson.

B&B&B&B

"The boy!? _The boy_!?" Mrs Patmore spat out casting a withering look to where Barrow Senior had stood.

"I just can't believe Mr Barrow has a father!" Daisy piped up only to have Mrs Patmore roll her eyes.

"What did you think Daisy? That he popped out of the sweet earth like a fluffy white rabbit?!"

The Daisy of ten years ago would've stuttered an uncomprehending answer while panic filled her entire body, but not the Daisy of today.

" _Noooo_ of course not, its just that Mr Barrow has never spoken about his father…you know.. come to think of it he never talks about his family".

At that moment Carson walked back into the kitchen and motioned to his wife to join him as he headed off to her pantry. Mrs Hughes followed closing the door quietly behind her. Her pantry had actually become _their_ pantry. Some furniture had been taken out and a smaller desk added for her husband. Carson had insisted on the change before Thomas had returned to fill the role of Butler. He did not want any fuss and besides he enjoyed being able to spend time near his wife on the days that he worked.

He turned to face his wife "Did you know about this?"

"Not at all!" her Scottish accent accentuated when she was upset "but _I_ can tell you he's up to no good"

Carson agreed and as he lowered himself into his chair he began to think, he looked up to his wife "Elsie what do you think he wants from Thomas?"

"I've not the slightest idea but Thomas wasn't expecting him. You should've seen his face when he saw him. I'm worried Charles, I don't want to see Thomas fall back into despair. We must one of us talk to him".

Carson nodded in agreement with his wife. Thomas had come a long way, he had proven not only to himself but to all those in the house, upstairs and down, that he was a capable butler, but Carson also new that he couldn't be the one to talk to Thomas. He believed he had accepted change in his life, albeit with his loud and grumpy opinions, but admittedly he is still strangled with what Thomas was. The younger mans choice of life style was one change he could not, would not ever approve of. Yes, Carson thought to himself, Elsie must be the one to talk to him. He looked up to Elsie again but he knew instantly that she understood.

B&B&BB&B&B

Thomas stood at the front door watching the man walk down and away from the house. He was however not a stupid and knew his father would return to have the last word, to shatter the peace that he had thought was at last his to own. No, Barrow Senior was there to remind him that the calm before the storm was over.

"Barrow?"

Thomas turned to see his Lordship walking towards him "I'm sorry MiLord have you been looking for me?"

"Yes but not to worry its nothing urgent, I just wanted to let you know that Mr Branson has invited a guest to join us for dinner this evening"

"Of course MiLord, I shall inform Mrs Patmore at once. Will that be all?"

"Yes" answered Lord Grantham but hesitated as he peered over Thomas' shoulder "Who is that gentleman walking down the path?"

Thomas forced a smile "Oh he was just looking for James Mi'Lord but Mrs Hughes informed him that he's no longer in our employment".

"Oh? Well very good then, carry on Thomas" and with that Lord Grantham went to pen some letters that were long overdue.

B&B&B&B&B

Mrs Hughes walked brusquely towards the Abbey with her husband by her side. Carson for his part could feel the tension spewing forth from his wife because she never walked brusquely to work, well almost never.

"Elsie slow down"

Mrs Hughes was lost in her thoughts and kept moving forward.

"Elsie, would you _please_ stop" Carson let out a sigh. This time she heard him.

"What's the matter? Are you unwell?" She ran her eyes over her husband noting the slight tremor in his right hand.

"No I am not. You however are" he responded

Mrs Hughes took a deep breath in "Charles, I'm sorry. This whole thing with Thomas has me worried. I didn't have a chance to speak to him last night as Lady Grantham came to tell us that Mr Talbot was organizing some kind of car show in the next few weeks"

"I understand love but you must calm down. This is why I wanted to accompany you to the house, you were rather agitated this morning. So _please_ _calm_ _down_ "

Mrs Hughes closed her eyes and breathed deeply in and out a few times "Right Mr Carson I'm calm"

Carson offered his arm and she took it as they proceeded again towards the Abbey.

They heard the shouting as they entered, Andy's eyes darted all over the place knowing that neither Mr Carson nor Mrs Hughes welcomed that kind of shouting for any reason.

"What on earth?" exclaimed Mrs Hughes as she headed down the corridor only to be met by Mr Bates who held a hand up to stop both her and her husband.

"It's Mr Barrow and his father. The later arrived about half hour ago" Bates exclaimed.

"Have they been at it all this time?" Carson asked

"No the shouting just started"

"Very well then, lets leave them to it. I'll be close by should you need me Mr Bates" Mrs Hughes stated and then turned to her husband "Mr Carson it's alright you can go".

Carson looked over to Bates who gave a slight nod of assurance. He wasn't comfortable with the situation but Andy was here also and besides he wasn't about to step over his wife's toes, she was quite capable of handling such situations.

"Very well, I shall return for dinner" and with that he placed a gentle kiss on his wife's cheek and walked back from where he had entered.

B&B&B&B

Thomas stood up and walked around to the front of his desk, he wasn't going take any of this sitting down, his father could shout all he wanted but it was not his nature to shout. He had learnt that anger could be expressed through coldness.

"I don't care what you think. I don't care what you say. I'm not afraid of you."

Barrow Senior snarled, two could play at this game.

"Right you are hey boy, you're all grown up now standing there in your fancy clothes and shinning buttons. You think you made it to the top eh? But I know you boy, I know your loneliness, your inner demons, I see it in those dark empty eyes"

Thomas stiffened "I have no more inner demons, I know what I am, I've accepted it. I've moved on"

His father let out an empty laugh "You know what you are? Is that so? Well I'll tell you what I know. You're a pathetic excuse for a human being, you're disgusting and vile. You hide in that uniform, you hide behind a title that means nothing outside this house."

"If you so surely know what I am why are you here?" the younger asked quietly

"Oh that" the senior stepped up close to Thomas "I'm here to tell you I know what you did. Baxter wrote me all concerned the poor blind thing" he stopped for a moment to let the revelation sink in and was rewarded by Thomas wide eyed shock, then he continued " and I wanted to tell you that the next time you do it get it right" he grabbed one of Thomas' wrists roughly and held it in place "Look boy!" he jested with his eyes to be sure he had Thomas' attention and with the other hand he me made a cutting motion "Cut here and here, get it bleedin' right this time"

Thomas pulled his hands away trembling "Get out" he spoke, barely "get out you - "

But before Thomas could finish his sentence Barrow Senior delivered a stinging backhanded blow to his mouth.

"Watch your tongue boy and respect your elders" and with that he calmly turned, picked up his hat and coat, quietly opened the door and spat out his final words "you filthy gey cat*"

 _*gey cat was another "word" for homosexual in the 1920's/1930's_


	3. And Now We Are Three - Constant Change

Bates had been chatting quietly with Mrs Patmore looked up as he heard the footsteps that came closer from the corridor. Barrow Senior tipped his hat as he turned the corner and made his way out.

Mrs Patmore had taken a sharp breath in and Bates knew why, they had both noticed the red knuckles on the elder mans' hands. Bates quickly made his way to Mrs Hughes pantry, knocking quickly on the door he entered without waiting to be invited in.

Mrs Hughes for her part had already stood up as soon as she heard the door handle move and one quick look at Bates' face told her all she needed to know. Bates stood to one side allowing Mrs Hughes to walk out and straight through to the butler's office.

The housekeeper was a disciplined woman, having had years to perfect the art of controlling her emotions. Seeing Thomas in the state he was did not confuse or bewilder her, it did however for a quick moment shock her but as always she remained composed and calm. Thomas, who was still rooted to the spot where his father had left him hadn't yet noticed her presence, dry tears stuck to his face and a trail of blood fell from his bottom lip staining his starched collar.

The one thing Mrs Hughes very much liked about Mr Bates was that he was a discreet man, not driven by curiosities or silliness and therefore she did not hesitate to ask his assistance. Bates had waited quietly outside in the hallway even though the door to the butler's room was left open, he stepped forward and inclined his head as Mrs Hughes approached the doorway.

"Mr Bates would you kindly get me my medicine box" she spoke in hushed tones.

"Of course Mrs Hughes" Bates walked away as Mrs Hughes closed the door behind him.

Minutes later there was a soft knock and Bates handed the box to the house keeper with out looking towards Thomas "Here you go Mrs Hughes, I've asked Mrs Patmore to make some tea and I'll bring it along shortly".

"Thank you Mr Bates" Again Mrs Hughes closed the door setting the box down on the little table against the wall and motioned Thomas to sit down.

Thomas for his part had been pulled out of his stupor by Bates entering the room mortified to be seen in this way but he sighed thankfully when his co-worker did not look his way, but of course, thought Thomas, he had always been that way, avoiding other peoples problems.

He was exhausted from standing so tensely and therefore had no qualms about being ordered around and sat down closing his eyes allowing Mrs Hughes to attend to him. As he opened his slowly eyes he saw her open the medicine box and pull out some cotton and bottled ointment and then turn towards him, he quickly looked to the ground.

Ever so gently Mrs Hughes dabbed at the wound on his lip and with one hand gently pushed his chin up to get a better look, she dabbed the cotton wool this way and that way, Thomas winced a little at the sting. Suddenly Thomas felt a painful sensation in the pit of his stomach, a wretched and lonely feeling, so profound, so overwhelming. He could never remember his mother being so gentle, so caring. Is this what Anna had meant when she had told him of Mrs Hughes reaction of finding him in the bathtub? Were these gentle actions of the house keeper a taste of the maternal care that had never been part of his childhood? Is this what it felt like to be accepted? without fear or doubt? As much as he tried to hold back the tears fell but this time they weren't tears of shame, they were tears of fear, fear of abandonment.

Mrs Hughes had watched the emotions that raged on Thomas' face, the confusion, the loss and the grief. When Thomas started crying she put the items down and then pulled him gently towards her body, held his head with one hand while patting his back with other as the butler, who was a confused man, who was a lost boy, clutched at her skirt and began to sob.

B&B&B&B&B

"He did what!?" Carson stood there with his jaw hanging. He knew Thomas and his father did not get along well, that there was no love lost between them but he remained genuinely shocked at what had transpired that morning.

Mrs Hughes nodded her head silently and moved to sit down to the closest chair, which happened to be Carson's large chair near the fireplace. She had told her husband everything that Thomas had shared and now she was tired and worried, very worried. Before leaving the Abbey she had called Mr Bates and Mrs Patmore to her pantry and imposed upon them the importance of keeping a close eye on Thomas for the remainder of the night and the following morning. The two senior staff members nodded their heads reassuringly, it had also been agreed to let the other staff members know. They would not however tell the newer staff members for that would only fuel distasteful and unnecessary gossip.

Once Carson had recovered from his initial shock he came to realize just how tired his wife looked. Elsie's face was pale; she twisted her hands one over the other continuously. He grabbed a chair from the table and sat as close as he could to her taking her little soft hands into his large comforting ones.

"I am sorry to not have been there, to help" he leant forward softly kissing her forehead.

Mrs Hughes sighed grateful for the support of her husband, for the tenderness that he openly displayed in the safety of their little cottage. Of course outside of the cottage, in front of others, he was Mr Carson the esteemed butler, respectful, polite but always the butler, he did not hold hands, he did not laugh when an occasional smile would more than suffice. The only allowance he made were the quick kisses on his wife's cheeks when he accompanied her to work and when picking her up.

Andy had accompanied her back home this night and when she had told him that from the top of the path she could walk alone the last few meters to the cottage he politely shook his head at her, telling her that Mr Carson would have him hanging by his ears if he didn't leave her at the front door. She had let out a little chuckle at the comment but Andy was true to his word and did not walk away until Mr Carson opened the front door letting his wife in and nodding his stern thanks to Andy.

The quiet walk home had given her a chance to think about a conversation that she had shared with her husband a while back and she decided now was the moment to finish it.

"Charles"

Carson looked down at his wife separating his lips from her forehead "Yes love?"

"Do you remember the conversation we had a few weeks back? The one about the house on Bruncker Rd?"

Carson's eye brows furrowed momentarily as he thought back "Oh yes the house.. and if my memory serves me correctly my watch came up at one point?"

"Yes that's right" Mrs Hughes sat up a little straighter and took a deep breath in before continuing "I'd like it to be Thomas"

" _What_?" Carson looked horrified " _Thomas_?!"

"Charles please let me explain" she waited to see if he would.

Charles was actually quite literally at a loss for words, perhaps this episode at the house had rattled his wife's brains to stupidity, but as quickly as the thought had come he chided himself. His wife was as stubborn as a Scott could be but she was not stupid. He nodded his head silently allowing his wife to continue.

"I saw his face Charles, I saw the shame, the confusion all over again and I was afraid for him, I _am_ afraid for him. He has worked so hard to accept himself, to better himself and in one vile swoop that man, that wretched man took it all away from him again"

"What do you mean again?" Charles asked

"How do you think Thomas became such a bitter person in the beginning? conniving and angry at the world? His childhood was run over by his fathers bitterness, his fathers shame at having what he thought was an abnormal son when in reality it was he who acted in such a foul manner"

Carson winced at the word foul, hadn't he not to long ago labeled Thomas as foul? Suddenly he felt the need to defend himself "Elsie I doubt any father would _not_ find it difficult to face the truth about their son, a son that refuses to change his ways"

Mrs Hughes knew where this was going "No Charles, Thomas does not refuse to change, he _cannot_ change. There is no cure for what he is, there is no power on this earth that can change him and I know you know this, you just refuse to accept it."

Carson felt uncomfortable; gently he let go of his wife's hands and stood up undoing the two top buttons of his shirt.

"Elsie how does Thomas fit in with our house?"

"He needs to feel that he belongs, that he is needed"

"But Elsie he is now the butler of a great house, Lord Grantham has more than showed that he is _needed_!" Charles huffed out his answer.

He watched his wife stand up looking possibly more tired than before and he regretted his outburst. She walked to the steps but before heading upstairs stopped and turned to face her husband once more.

"Charles when we married we agreed to never live with regrets because we both knew the reasons why things had happened in our lives, we knew that regret only fueled more regret. That being said, the sacrifices we both made before allowing ourselves to love and be loved cost us the chance to be happier earlier, to have a family, to share so many life experiences together but with our age comes the wisdom not to look back" she looked to the ground momentarily biting her lower lip and then looked up again "I don't want Thomas to sacrifice more than what he already has, I don't want him to reach our age, if he even does, the way we did and sigh alone in his office about the regrets he will have to carry. He is again unsure of himself, he is lost and unable to see the good in himself. He cannot change what he is Charles, not ever, but _you_ can because you are free to make the choice to change, _he_ is not."

"Why do _I_ have to be the one to _constantly_ change?" Carson bristled

His wife looked sadly at him "Because Charles this time I can only help him, but you.. you can save him".


	4. And Now We Are Three - Harry Barrow

In the days that followed Mrs Hughes had informed his Lordship about what had transpired in her downstairs dominion, as was to be expected his Lordship was appalled. In turn Lord Grantham, as always in these cases, informed his wife.

Of course Lady Grantham being the caring person she was had contacted Dr Clarkson and asked him to check on Thomas' state. After the visit Dr Clarkson reported his findings and they discussed how this latest episode had affected her butler. Then, as her husband had done with her, she too informed him of the doctors final diagnosis and by the following morning a decision had been made and Thomas Barrow left the house before anyone else could notice. In the meantime upon his arrival at the house Mr Carson had been summoned from downstairs.

"Ah Carson" his Lordship greeted.

"My Lord" Carson inclined his head curtly "you asked for me?"

"Yes, please join us in the library" indicating for Carson to follow him.

"Good morning Mr Branson" Carson greeted Tom.

"Good morning Mr Carson" Tom smiled. It had been a while since he had seen Carson and it warmed his heart because he felt that whenever the stoic overseer was about a sense of security returned to house.

"Carson" his Lordship began "I summoned you here because I, rather we, are concerned with Thomas' mental well being. Dr Clarkson has informed us that he believes Thomas is falling into a state of depression"

"I understand My Lord. Is this affecting his work? I only ask because Mrs Hughes has not mentioned anything to me these past few days".

That wasn't entirely true. Ever since the incident with the two Barrows he and his wife had continued with the conversation that had begun that night. His wife was not a nagger, she didn't make him want to hit his head against a brick wall, rather she took different angles, approached disagreements slowly and in her way went about perverting the course of justice that her husband had only moments before declared law.

"No it hasn't but I believe if this situation continues it will. Dr Clarkson suggested that Thomas be given a few days rest away from the house and I've sent him to stay at my sisters in London - as a guest" his Lordship added the last words to quell any opposition from Carson.

"Of course My Lord. I would be more than happy to step in while Mr Barrow is away" Carson offered finally believing that he understood why he had been summoned. He hadn't seem Thomas this morning, no one had and of course the house keeper wouldn't have known as she'd been told nothing the night before.

"Yes I hadn't expected otherwise" his Lordship stated simply "however there is another reason for having summoned you. Thomas' father is still in the village, this obviously means he has other intentions and worse than those of the past no doubt"

Tom spoke up "He was at the Grantham Arms hotel last night, he was drunk and lets say he made it quite clear to those present what they should all think of Thomas"

Carson pressed his lips together as drunkenness was a thing that he greatly detested, it showed weakness and lack of self control.

"Tom is going to drive me down to the village now and I want you to join us Carson"

"My Lord?" responded a very puzzled Carson.

"You are very well respected in the village Carson, your presence will guarantee that you are there to show your support for Thomas, for your successor" Lord Grantham explained.

"Very good My Lord. With your permission I will wait outside for you both" and with that Carson withdrew from the room and went down stairs to change.

He had tried to find his wife but had been told by Anna that she had ben summoned by Lady Mary about some changes she wanted made in the nursery. Carson nodded and told Anna he would be out with his Lordship unsure of the hour of his return.

"Mr Carson, I haven't seen Mr Barrow at all today and Mr Bates told me he wasn't in his room. Am I to take it that he has gone away and that you will replace him until he returns?" asked Anna.

"That is correct" Carson replied, "He'll only be gone a few days, perhaps four at the most"

"Very good Mr Carson" and with that Anna continued with her duties.

Carson nodded and felt relieved as the burden of having to explain Thomas' absence would now fall on Anna and Anna was always good at explaining things without having to really explain them.

As he walked down the corridor and made his way to the front of the house he found himself thinking back to the conversations with his wife, at the changes that she felt could only be chosen by him. Why did he have to choose? What if he had no desire to choose? She couldn't force him, come to think of it she would never force him to choose anything, but since she had said it he'd felt a great weight on his shoulders and all this thinking made it heavier as each day passed.

Charles Carson loved his wife, he adored her and why not? She was his happiness, she was his bright light on the darkest of days, she pulled him up to the surface when the tremors of his hand made him feel like he was drowning, she made him see things that at times he could not. There was nothing he could deny her…but this? This was difficult, too difficult. This was.. was.. well it was utter nonsense that's what it was!

B&B&B&B&B

Mr Harry Barrow sat on a bench in the center of the village drinking in the warm sunlight. The splitting headache that had greeted him in the early morning had been quelled with a putrid tasting tonic and fresh air. The village bored him, the people in the village bored him. London, well now, London meant life, women and hearty drinking. He was getting on in years and clock making was taking a toll on his eyesight. He didn't have the burden of a wife and little ones to feed so perhaps it was time to try his hand at something else, but what?

He sighed, placed his hat on the bench beside him and crossed his arms, closed his eyes and let his head fall back. He thought to himself that enough days had passed so he would again need to surprise that useless fruit of his loins, best get done what needed to be doing.

The shadow that blocked the warm sunlight from his face had the affect on him as it would've on anyone. _Who the hell is blocking my sunlight?_ He thought as he opened his eyes to shoo off this uninvited guest. He was met with three faces staring down at him, one he recognized from the big house the other two he did not.

"Who's this then?" he asked Carson while staring at the man that stood in the middle of the others.

" _This_ " Carson growled with a steely voice "is the 7th Earl of Grantham* and the Viscount Downton, _son_ of the _Dowager Countess_ of Grantham and _father_ to the _7_ _th_ _Marchioness_ of Hexham". To the untrained eye it would've seemed that Harry Barrow didn't care but under Carson's practiced eye he saw how the seated mans eyes widened if just for a moment "and the gentleman standing at his side is his son in law, Mr Thom Branson".

"What can I do you for?" Barrow asked as casually as possible though all the titles thrown in his face had unnerved him a little.

"You may leave on the next train Mr Barrow" Lord Grantham answered simply, clearly.

"Oh I'm sorry your Lordship, not until I've talked to my boy again" he stood up slowly standing eye to eye with Lord Grantham "we've unfinished business, Thomas and me".

"Your business is finished here Mr Barrow. A ticket is waiting for you at the train station, as is your luggage. My son in law and Mr Carson will accompany you – so you don't get lost of course"

Barrow attempted to step forward only to have a large firm hand push him back, he moved his eyes up slightly in Carson's direction and snarled "Get your filthy shakin hand off me Carson"

Carson for his part showed no sign of acknowledging Barrows words but only pushed his hand harder against the offending shoulder "His Lordship has kindly asked you to leave _Mr_ Barrow" then his voice rose an octave "You are not welcome at his Lordships home, you are not welcome in this village. Therefore I suggest for _your_ own safety that you allow Mr Branson and I to accompany you to the station".

As Lord Grantham had mentioned earlier in the morning Carson's presence had slowly begun to invite the curious attention of people who passed by and they heard his last words quite clearly.

Barrow bent down and retrieved his hat putting it on his head and made to yawn as if bored "You can't make me so, if you'll excuse me I've got to collect my luggage"

Tom cleared his throat loudly "Mr Barrow when we were packing your luggage, infront of the hotel manager of course, we happened to find this" he held up a small cotton bag " this would usually be used for your hair brush and such things, but you see, curiosity got the better me so I opened it and I found these" he pulled out three silver spoons belonging to his father in law "I am sure that you are aware that stealing is a criminal offence".

"I didn't steal those! You planted them there!" Barrow shouted losing all the casualness displayed moments before.

"We summoned Sgt Willis and he wanted to have you arrested but his Lordship wouldn't have it being that you are his butlers father after all" Tom let his words sink in for a moment "Sgt Willis set one condition on your freedom Mr Barrow and that was that you leave, _immediately_ , and never, _ever_ return, because if you do you'll be locked up for a very long time".

B&B&B&B&B

The whistle blew indicating that the train was ready to be boarded.

"Get on board Mr Barrow" Carson ordered.

"You think you're different _Mr_ Carson, you think yourself high and mighty because you shine his Lordships shoes, but you know what your not. You're just like me. You don't let the future cloud your judgment and just like me you believe Thomas has no place in this world."

Barrow struggled hard against Tom and Carson's grip but he lost the battle for though Carson was no longer a young man his strength hadn't deserted him entirely and with his steadier left hand he half threw and half pushed Barrow into the carriage, Tom quickly slammed the door shut and slipped the pin down hard. Barrow didn't relent, running to the open window he screamed down to Carson for all he was worth.

"You hate what he is! You hate it when he stands too close to you! when his eyes linger too long on you! You hate him because you know like I do he'll never change! He's a monster! A freak! Let him put himself out of his own misery and ours! No body can save him Carson, Nobody!"

At 6ft' 2 inches and with shoulders broader than most Charles Carson was the gentlest of giants. He could stop any crying baby within minutes, he could pick any flower for little Miss Sybil without disturbing the soil beneath and he could enchant his beloved Elsie with the softest touch of his fingers on her skin. However any man who dared to push the boundaries of his patience, and very, very, few had, would inevitably remember it for weeks while nursing a cracked cheekbone. The last thought that crossed Harry Barrows mind before Carson's fist flew up through the window was a simple one; ' _blimey_ , _that's gonna hurt'._

* _There has been a bit of debate whether Lord Grantham was the 6_ _th_ _or 7_ _th_ _Earl of Grantham. I did a little online research and decided to stick with him being the 7_ _th_ _Earl, cheers.. TBC_


	5. Good Night Mr Carson

Carson's nerves had been riled up by what had happened and upon his return to the house the staff scrambled over one another to get away from the butler as if he carried the plague. While in the car his hand had begun shaking violently and he wasn't sure if it had been because of the punch to Barrow, or a result of his highly agitated state or simply because the blasted thing just wanted to completely ruin this already long day.

Mrs Hughes left him to his own devices, experience had taught her that he would need space to gather his thoughts and quell the raging storm that radiated from him. It pained her to see his hand shaking away so uncontrollably especially as she would normally sit with him, taking his hand in hers and gently caress it until the violent shaking became only a quiver or if luck would have it, until it lay steadily in her hands.

It had, unfortunately, taken a good long while before his hand stilled itself and by the time Carson and his wife left for the cottage he felt absolutely drained. Mrs Hughes new that her husband would seek intimacy with her that night because he always did when days like this occurred and she lovingly received him being sure to hold him close so that he knew at least in those moments he could let lose the fears that the tremors let creep in. Age did not quell love nor it did not quell desire. Age reminded them both that such love and such desires were to be treasured and added to their shared memories.

As always happened after the soft flame of intimacy had been spent Carson began to recount what had happened with _that_ man. Mrs Hughes heard the mortified tones in her husbands voice as he told her of _that_ man's blatant disrespect towards his Lordship.

"Did you steamroll him with grand titles?" she asked already knowing the answer.

"I most certainly did!" Carson growled and Mrs Hughes smiled as she rolled her eyes knowing her husband could not see her face under his chin.

"Elsie.."

"Yes Charles"

"I did a lot of thinking this afternoon while sitting in the pantry watching this earthquake of a hand and well.. I called Mr Murray and asked him to talk to Thomas."

Mrs Hughes sat up straight pulling the bed sheet up to her chest. Though only minutes before she had shared herself with her husband she was not one however to sit naked infront of him outside their intimacies.

"Oh Charles!" she didn't know whether to cry from happiness or fear "Are you sure?"

"I think I told you once that I had never been more sure of anything in my life than marrying you but I was wrong, I knew I wanted to marry you but above all I was _sure_ that I, and only I, wanted to be the one responsible for your happiness, to know that where all others failed I would succeed."

Carson reached up to wipe away the tears that fell from his wife's eyes "Your happiness Elsie is paramount to me because you love me, you trust me and because when all else fails you are the one who saves me, and now, as you so rightly made me realize, I want to save him, I _choose_ to save him".

B&B&B&B

The three men waved to the leaving car and watched as it took its passenger down towards the village to the awaiting train. As he re-entered the house Tom rubbed his hand down one side of his face.

"Are you alright Tom?" Henry asked behind him.

"I was just thinking about how Mr Barrow was feeling this morning"

"Oh yes, I do feel for Thomas" Henry agreed.

"No, Mr _Harry_ Barrow" Tom corrected.

"Wretched I hope" his Lordship scowled as he walked past them both.

Henry raised an eyebrow "Well he should feel wretched after being put in his place by Carson"

"No, actually after putting him in his place Carson then _pu_ t him to sleep" Tom made a fist to give his brother in law a clear understanding of what he meant and it had the desired effect as Henry Talbot winced and subconsciously rubbed his face also.

B&B&B&B

Thomas' clothes hung off his body and dark circles sat under his eyes, his skin was cold to touch. He had come to sit in the sunroom of Lady Rosamund' s London home trying to warm himself.

"There you are Mr Barrow"

"Lady Rosamund can I help you with anything?" Thomas stood up as soon as he heard her voice. He may have been a guest in her house but he knew his place.

Rosamund gestured at him to sit again "I just wanted to let you know that Mr Carson will be here at any moment, they called me from the station as soon as his train arrived"

"Thank you MiLady." Thomas had been expecting Carson after the previous days talk with his Mr Murray.

"I've been invited out to dinner so it will just be the two of you tonight" she informed him.

"Very good MiLady."

Rosamund was about to respond when her butler interrupted them "Mr Carson has arrived My Lady"

"Excellent, would you bring him in here please Mr Hatly"

"Of course" and after a few moments Hatley re-entered with Carson in tow.

"Mr Carson" Rosamund approached "How good to see you, I trust you had a good trip?"

"I did indeed My Lady and I thank you for sending the car to pick me up" Carson humbly replied.

"It was least I could do, besides my brother was quite clear that you be cared for and I of course completely agree."

Her Ladyships comment were not lost on Carson, he had known Lady Rosamund for far too many years and knew her to be sincere.

"I am grateful My Lady".

"Well now Mr Carson I shall leave you with Mr Barrow as I must prepare to go out. Don't hesitate to call Mrs Carson and let her know you've arrived safely, we mustn't leave her worrying".

"Of course My Lady."

And with that Rosamund exited the sunroom leaving Carson and Barrow standing together.

"Mr Carson would you like to take a seat" Thomas gestured to the chair next to his.

"Thank you" Carson moved to sit "Tell me how have you been Thomas?" Though he felt a little silly asking as he could see by the physical state of the young man that he had not been well.

"I'm better now Mr Carson. It's been a little rough but Lady Rosamund has been very kind and patient with me" Thomas smiled a little "I even took a walk this morning".

"I'm glad to hear it" Carson cleared his throat "Mr Murray came and spoke to you?"

Thomas shifted in his seat "Yes Mr Carson, he did yesterday"

"And you understand clearly what we, that is, what Mrs Carson and I are asking of you?"

"Yes I do understand Mr Carson"

"Tell me Thomas, how do you feel about it? Do you have any questions? Any uncertainties? Don't be afraid to tell me" Carson encouraged.

Thomas looked down at the floor avoiding eye contact "Mr Carson, I'm very flattered that you and Mrs Carson chose to think of me, of my future but surely there is someone more deservedly than I?"

"There may be but we have chosen you Thomas because we believe you are deserving"

"But I don't believe I am" came an almost whispered replied.

"Why do say that Thomas?" Carson asked

"I know what I am Mr Carson and I know that like my father you see me as abnormal. I realize that every person who knows me, the real me surely feels as you both do."

Thomas stood up and Carson's eyes rested on his sleeves noting that they dangled on his arms like a loose flag in the wind. "I accepted what I was but I hadn't accepted the reality of what people thought of me. My father was right in reminding me"

"You are not abnormal or a freak Thomas" Carson replied "Your _father_ is a fool, an ignorant fool who has boiled in his anger for far to long. And I, well I too was a fool and I need to apologize to you Thomas" Carson took a deep breath in "I do not think you foul and it was very wrong of me to say such a thing. I have come to understand that what _that_ man said and did to you cannot just be swept under the carpet or tiptoed around, that a few days away cannot make it all go away."

Carson stood up " Mrs Carson and I have each other but when we are no longer here we don't want our hard work and sacrifices to be lost, to be taken by people who have no idea of the struggles we have faced since we were married and this-" he brought his right hand up " _condition,_ is more than physical Thomas, it is a sharp reminder to me that as each day passes things can only get harder, never easier. There are days when this hand prevents me from smiling, from hoping, from living" he flexed his hand a few times and then let it fall by his side and moved closer to Thomas "it won't change miraculously overnight, not ever."

"But you see Thomas, with Mrs Carson by my side I feel safe, I feel like I can continue to be part of this world and I owe it to her to keep fighting. I choose no matter how tired I am of it all to keep moving forward. We, Mrs Carson and I, want you to know that you belong with us, with those in Downton, upstairs and downstairs, with _all_ of us. Your father and people like him will always exist because unhappy people feel it's their life's work to make others unhappy. You can let it affect you or you can choose to let them go on their way, to pass you by."

A tear rolled down Thomas' face and he trembled as he spoke "But Mr Carson what if you change your mind? What if you regret your decision?"

Carson stiffened and for a moment he was again the esteemed butler of Downton Abbey "I do not live for regrets Thomas. At my age I cannot afford to waste time on them. You are to be the sole beneficiary of all that Mrs Carson and I have. We have agreed on this, we chose this and that is final."

A lopsided smirk appeared on Thomas' face and he was actually relieved to have the old Mr Carson assert himself in that manner, it made him feel safe, normal.

Carson then proceeded to pull out a pen and document from the inside of his jacket "I have one more document that I would like you to read" he hesitated momentarily "I want you to understand that you are not obligated to sign it. And should you not want to it will not change anything. What I am offering with this document is a chance to wipe the slate clean, to start afresh in the knowledge that you will forever belong" and then he handed the document over together with a pen.

Thomas seeing the seriousness cross Carson's face took the document almost reverently from his hands and began to read it. He hadn't even finished reading it when his head snapped up with his mouth gaping open like a fish. After a good five minutes that gaping mouth slowly transformed itself to the happiest of smiles, a smile that had not crossed his mouth for far too long.

Carson raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement of what would happen as he watched Thomas sign the document "And now we are three" he stated as he thought of how his dear Elsie would be very, very happy.

B&B&B&B&B

"Right then, I'm off" Thomas declared as he stood in the kitchen with his hat in his hands.

"You haven't eaten anything!" an exasperated Mrs Patmore almost yelled at him

"Mrs Patmore, in the month since I've returned I've put on all the weight I lost and some, very soon I won't fit into my livery"

"Mr Bates ?" Mrs Patmore looked to him but Mr Bates shook his head and made it very clear he would not be dragged into a disagreement between the cook and the butler.

"Fine then!" Mrs Patmore grabbed a small box and almost slammed it on the table "Take these and you can eat them on your way home, I'm going to bed!" and she stomped away mumbling loudly to herself about how the young had no idea how to look after themselves.

Thomas picked up the box of biscuits and smiled because he knew that Mrs Patmore had made them especially for him.

He looked over to Bates "Don't want her angry at me tomorrow"

"Indeed" replied Bates knowingly.

Thomas put his hat on and pulled his coat up around his neck, he looked around the kitchen as he always did before leaving. The large kitchen had been until recently the only place he made his tea before going up to bed, now it wasn't.

"I best get moving, it's quite late and they won't go to bed until I arrive and I am looking forward to my weekly morning off to get some things done around the house. I leave you in charge and I'll see you tomorrow after lunch, Good night Mr Bates"

"Good night Mr Carson".


	6. Anywhere But There

"DEATH COMES UNEXPECTEDLY!" boomed the visiting Reverend Cameron looking down to the congregation as if all were condemned souls "and woe to those who turn to sin and search to lead the pure to damnation!"

"Blimey" Thomas mumbled under his breath "He'll be waking up the dead and damned _unexpectedly_ if he carries on like that."

Daisy who sat at his side choked on the laugh that she dared not release knowing that the Reverend would hail fire and brimstone on her.

A while later the staff of Dowton Abbey walked through the village on their way back to the house. As always at the rear of the group looking like shepherds keeping their eyes on the flock were Mr Carson, Mrs Carson and Thomas.

"I just think it'll be better and think how much money it would save" Thomas was trying to convince Carson about the merits of having a phone installed at the house on Brunker Rd.

" _Save_ money? How exactly can it save money when we must pay to have installed and then pay to make a call?"

"It'll save money by saving time, running out to call for help in the middle of the night when all one has to do is make a phone call and the helper can rush to the house instead, besides how are people going to book a room if they've no way of making a booking?" Thomas explained.

"Oh I don't know, new pipes, repairs on the window frames not to mention the bathroom" Carson growled.

"I know it's a lot but the idea is for you both to make some money from it. People won't pay to stay in a house that's falling apart and not have a telephone. What kind of Bed & Breakfast will it be?"

"He has a point" Mrs Carson agreed "besides we knew we would need to spend money before we could make any".

"And when do you propose to have this telephone installed Thomas?" Asked Carson.

"Well I think we can wait till the major repairs are done, then we can put the phone in and straight after that put in advertisement in the papers. Mrs Barnes' daughter is ready to start working as soon as we tell her. As long as we finish the main bedrooms, the bathroom and the kitchen we can continue with small repairs on the rest of the house, inside and out, while guests are staying."

Carson listened as he held his hands behind his back. Since Thomas had become part of his and Mrs Carson's world he had not only of his own free will helped Mrs Carson to pay half of each monthly expense for her sister Becky Hughes at Lytham St Annes but he had enthusiastically thrown himself into the repairs of the Bruncker Rd house.

The group reached the edge of the village where the road divided; Thomas joined the staff as they took the road that led up to the Abbey and Carson together his wife took the other that lead to the group of cottages where they lived.

"Alright do you want to tell me what's bothering you?" Mrs Carson asked as she moved closer to her husband.

"Oh I don't know Elsie, all this business with the house.. It's moving along fast.. Too fast for my liking"

"I see, well why didn't you tell Thomas how you felt?"

"Because I don't want to upset him" Carson replied "I can see he's trying to make an effort and well… he's happy and confident."

"Yes but _you're_ not happy"

"I am happy Elsie, I'm just unsure that all this work to the house is really necessary, whether we might want to be more careful in our spending"

"Charles are we in difficulties?" suddenly Elsie was worried.

Charles patted his wife's hand that was wrapped around his arm " No love, not at all. I just want to make sure we stay within our budget" and they continued walking quietly.

Elsie's thoughts drifted to the past few months and the changes that had taken place. The spare bedroom had been accommodated to Thomas' taste for when he wanted to stay with them, which was about once a week or once a fortnight depending on what was happening at the Abbey. A gramophone now sat in the family room downstairs. Spare clothes for Thomas hung in the wardrobe of his room together with two pairs of shoes used for outside the cottage.

Being that all three of them worked in service they were tidy and efficient people, never a sock was left in the bathroom, never a shoe left under the bed. Items were put away, neatly folded or hung. Dirty dishes were washed and put in their place every night without fail. The fireplace cleaned every morning. Never an empty glass left on the kitchen table or sink.

One thing however could not be so easily adapted to and that was how to greet one another. In the end one night all three sat down at the dinner table and began deliberation of what titles to use and when.

It went something in the order of this; In the cottage Thomas' adoptive parents remained for him Mr and Mrs Carson. Whenever Mr Carson was out of the cottage Thomas called his adoptive mother by her Christian name Elsie for she had insisted on it as she wanted Thomas to feel he could trust her, feel her sincere affection and care for him. Of course Carson was not at all pleased but he swallowed his retorts because he respected his wife's wishes. As per the norm at the abbey Mrs Carson would still be called Mrs Hughes. Mr Carson remained 'Mr Carson' at the home, at the Abbey and anywhere else.

Once the news of Thomas' adoption by the Carson's spread the village people quickly came up with the title of ' _Young Mr Carson'_ for Thomas, it helped avoid confusion whenever the two male Carson's were out and about or their names came up in conversation.

"Dear.."

"Yes love" Carson answered.

"You know the whole family will be away next week so Thomas will be free. Why don't you both go to London for a few days"

"And do what?" asked Carson skeptically

"Well I don't know. Go to the theatre or the Galleries, you know spend some time together away from the stresses of the house."

"What about you, you'll be alone in the cottage" Carson's eyebrows furrowed "No. I won't have you alone in the cottage"

"I can stay at the Abbey. There'll be plenty of cleaning and putting things in order and I can catch up on the ledgers."

Carson twitched his mouth in uncertainty. He'd not been one night away from his wife since they married almost a year ago and just thinking about it made his heart sink.

"There'll be no butler in the house should his Lordship or anyone return suddenly" Carson reminded his wife.

"Mr Bates is quite capable of looking after things and _I_ will be there"

"Anna cannot stay with baby William on her own!"

"Charles, Mr Bates can return to the cottage in the evenings. I will be at the Abbey at night and so will Andy and Mr Bromwell _and_ I'll ask Mr Mosely to stay also, we womenfolk will be protected. Mrs Patmore can come with me _if_ I need to pop into the cottage"

Carson desperately tried to find any excuse but admittedly couldn't and sighed "Elsie.."

"Yes..?"

"I'll miss you terribly" Carson whispered almost afraid making Elsie's heart break hearing him so.

B&B&B&B

The train ride to London had been too long for both Carson and Thomas. There wasn't much to talk about apart from the Abbey or the house and of later they spoke little as to avoid any possible confrontation. Every now and then one of them pointed out to some new structure that had not been there before.

From the station they went directly to the hotel, freshened up and went to have dinner. After dinner they decided to have and a walk.

They walked together along the roads making comments on what they saw, the new fashions, the music that seemed to seep up through the underground, the latest car models that drove by.

"Well it's certainly a nice evening for a walk Mr Carson" Thomas said as they returned to their hotel.

"Indeed it has been, a little fresh but much needed after the trip" Carson agreed.

"Any thoughts to where we might go tomorrow?"

"Well I thought perhaps the Natural History Museum" then Carson added "unless of course you have any suggestions?"

"No that sounds fine Mr Carson, I've never been before" Thomas assured forcing an excited smile.

The day at the museum didn't turn out as bad as Thomas had thought it would be. He remained open mouthed when he saw the Diplodocus Carnegii Skeleton better known as the 'Dippy' _,_ then there was the Dinocochlea, there where specimens with names he couldn't pronounce, there were the scribbled journals of Charles Darwin.

Carson would be the first to admit he had no idea what fascinated the brains of younger people in these days apart from the obvious, the opposite sex, however he remained quite pleased at Thomas' enthusiasm as the day went by. At the end of the day he became quite chuffed to see Thomas buy a small booklet on the architectural design of the museum.

They exited the museum descending the stairs and chatting away about interesting architectural design of the museum when Thomas felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Excuse me, I don't mean to disturb you but aren't you Thomas Barrow?" the young man asked cautiously.

"Ah yes I am" Thomas answered hesitantly.

"You don't remember me do you?" the young man smiled.

"Uh no I don't, who are you?"

"Indeed, who are you?" Carson also asked annoyed at being disturbed.

"Thomas it's me, Luke Doherty. I worked a few months at your fathers shop, you'd come down for a few days to see your family one summer".

For a moment Thomas' eyes widened in absolute horror as the memory of the young man hit him like a sharp rock but quickly he composed himself in the hope Carson had not noticed.

"That's right, I remember. Well, uh.. how are you? I mean how have you been?" he asked politely.

"Good, very good. I'm married now and have a little girl" Luke smiled.

"Well that's just jolly" next to him he heard Carson clear his throat "Oh, ah Luke this is Mr Carson, we work together in Yorkshire"

"A pleasure Mr Carson" Luke nodded his head.

"Well we're leaving" Thomas informed his friend of the past "It was nice to see you then"

"Thomas might we meet for a drink later tonight" Luke asked suddenly.

"I'm sorry _Mr_ Doherty I can't leave Mr Carson as we've already a booking for dinner"

Carson seeing the hope in Luke's eyes raised his hand "Not to worry Thomas. I'm a little tired from standing on my feet all day, you should join Mr Doherty."

"Great! Lets say at 8? At the The Grapes!" Luke clapped Thomas' shoulder and tipped his hat.

"Sure" Thomas agreed "Well until later" and he walked away with Carson behind him.

After a few minutes of silent walking Carson spoke "Thomas did I perhaps make a mistake in encouraging you to see Mr Doherty?"

"No Mr Carson not at all" but he did not look at Carson as he answered.

B&B&B&B&B

Carson had gone to sleep early that night as he really had felt quite tired from walking around the museum and he would need his energy for tomorrow as he and Thomas had planned to walk along the Thames River.

He had been woken by someone shouting outside and decided to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. As he walked back out of the bathroom he looked toward the bed and was about to talk to Elsie when he realized she wouldn't be there. He wondered how Elsie was doing. He had managed to give her a quick call when they had arrived in London to let her know they where both well. He looked at the clock on the wall and it was half past eleven, he was quite sure Elsie would be having her last cup of tea, perhaps in the company of Mrs Patmore or in the company of the ledgers.

He thought for a moment about his dear friend Mrs Patmore, he was quite sure there would be an announcement of sorts coming from her way, everybody was sure and like him everybody was sitting on the edge of their seat just waiting for the happy news. More yelling interrupted Carson's thoughts and curiosity got the better of him so he walked towards the window to see whose offending voice it was. He couldn't see anyone standing out in the streets, he looked up to see a few windows with light glowing out of them but saw nobody, the yelling started again and the realization that it was coming from inside the hotel, from the room next door, Thomas' room.

Carson grabbed his nightgown wrapping it around him, hurriedly put on his shoes and ran out the door. Fear gripped him for a moment, what if some fool had broken into Thomas' room with some kind of dangerous device? What would he do? The shouting started again and it pulled him out of his panicked state. It didn't matter _his_ Thomas Carson needed his help. He didn't even bother knocking on the door, adrenaline gave him the courage he needed and with all his strength he pushed the door in and froze on the spot.

In that moment he wanted to be anywhere in the world, he wanted to be gone, he wanted to be with his Elsie, he wanted to be anywhere but there in that room.


	7. Leaving

Mrs Hughes rubbed the back of her neck; she'd been sitting with the ledgers since early morning and had had enough. Putting the lid on her pen she lay it down on her desk in the hopes of not having to touch it for the remaining few hours left of the day. Outside her sitting room she could hear Mrs Patmore approaching her door followed by it being opened and a tuft of red hear popping through.

"Come in Mrs Patmore what can I do for you?"

"You can take a break from all those numbers and join me for a cup of tea" smiled the cook.

"Right you are" and Mrs Hughes gladly followed her friend.

The kitchen was empty, Andy had gone to Mr Masons farm to see Daisy and to catch up on his farm learning from Mr Mason. Marie had been given the day off and the other maids where upstairs cleaning. Mr Cromwell was polishing boots with Mr Bates while Anna had taken baby William for a walk.

Mrs Hughes sipped at her tea relishing each swallow, sighed gently and leaned back on her chair comfortably.

"Has Charles called today?" Mrs Patmore asked, she allowed herself to use Carson's Christian name when she knew no one was about.

"No he hasn't. I suspect he has Thomas scurrying around after him and will call tonight with an update. You know I am pleased they're getting along well" Elsie smiled.

"I know, well I do believe Thomas must be making a real effort if he spent yesterday at the museum with Charles"

"I believe so. Charles was so tired that he told me last night that after the phone call he'd be going straight to bed "

"Ah well at least _this time_ he got to go to the museum!" both Mrs Patmore and Mrs Hughes had a good giggle.

As their laughter died down they heard the back door open.

"Ah that'd be Anna and baby William" Mrs Patmore looked to the clock "he's due for a feed."

Mrs Hughes nodded while drank a little more of her tea looking towards the kitchen entrance ready to greet Anna and William. She almost dropped her cup when Thomas entered " _Thomas?_?" was all she could manage.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Mrs Patmore asked more directly while exchanging surprised looks with Mrs Hughes.

Thomas did not put his travel bag down and only stopped momentarily to face the two gob smacked ladies "Mrs Hughes, Mrs Patmore" was all he offered and then he continued walking, turned the corner and started up the stairs.

Mrs Hughes turned to look at her friend who nodded her head in the direction Thomas had disappeared to, Mrs Hughes put her cup down upon the table and followed Thomas.

"Thomas" she called out to him.

"Thomas" she called out again and he stopped but did not turn to face her.

"Mrs Hughes have the carpets been aired?" he asked quietly

"Thomas what happened?"

"Have the carpets been aired Mrs Hughes" Thomas asked again.

"Where is Mr Carson? Is he alright?"

Thomas could hear the worry that had already crept into her voice and so turned to face her "He's fine Mrs Hughes, he's at the cottage"

For the first time in her life Mrs Hughes didn't know what to do, if Thomas was distressed then there was no doubt that her husband more so. She wanted to leave and be with him but she couldn't, she was now a mother, written in law and written in her heart.

From where Thomas stood he could see the turmoil in Mrs Hughes face, in Elsie's face. He wanted her to follow him to his room, to ask him what had happened, to be able to explain things the way they had happened and not the way they had been seen. He took a deep breath feeling defeated "Mr Carson is waiting for you Mrs Hughes" and with that he turned and continued up the stairs with the weight of the world on his shoulders all over again.

Watching Thomas ascend the stairs Mrs Hughes bit her bottom lip in frustration. She leaned on the railing gripping it in worry. She knew Thomas needed her, she had promised him that she would always be there for him, that she wouldn't be a distant person, a distant mother, that no matter what she accepted him and now she felt like a Christmas cracker, her heart being pulled in two different directions.

Mrs Patmore appeared at the bottom of the stairs "What happened?"

"I don't know" feeling she was about to explode from indecision

"But didn't you just ask to Thomas?"

"I did but he told me Mr Carson was at the cottage?"

"What? Oh dear this is getting complicated" mumbled Mrs Patmore "Well what are you doing to do? You won't get answers standing there"

Mrs Hughes glanced once more up the stairs hoping by some miracle Thomas would appear again but he didn't, with a heavy heart she turned and descended to her sitting room.

"Don't worry I'll keep an eye on Thomas" Mrs Patmore reassured her as she put on her coat and hat.

B&B&B&B

Mrs Carson found her husband lying on his bed and it terrified her as he was not a man to get sick easily. On his forehead lay a damp cloth and on top of the cloth lay his left arm, she thought for a moment that his hand was shaking. She was distracted as she noted that he hadn't changed from his travel clothes and his shoes lay haphazardly at the foot of their bed, Charles Carson would never leave his shoes like that.

She walked quietly around to his side of the bed, sitting down as gently as she could next to him. She reached her hand out and placed it on top of his other hand that lay on his stomach, "Charles" she called to him softly.

Carson opened his eyes and look directly into hers "Elsie, never let me leave your side again" a tear fell from the corner of one eye, it streaked the side of his head and fell quietly on his pillow.

They stayed there both of them in that quiet room while outside the trees moved in the evening breeze, their leaves swaying this way and that. Soon the birds began to chirp loudly as the sun began its evening descent, the animals that usually moved across the fields by day began to head to their burrows and dens, soon all would be still as the sun sent its last rays of the light to guide the moon into night sky.

Carson had fallen asleep though it was far from peaceful, his right hand shook even when he slept. Elsie had gotten the fire started in their bedroom. She went downstairs and made dinner and brought some to her husband who just waved it away.

After dinner she bathed, changed into her night clothes and lay down by her husbands side, Carson let out a sigh.

"Charles what happened?" she asked as she stroked his chest.

Carson sighed again "Elsie I don't think I can do this"

"Do what?"

"This.. with Thomas" he waved a hand loosely in the air.

"Charles what happened? Did you argue? Did he say something to you in anger or you to him?"

"No, there were no angry words, no arguing" he responded

Elsie sat up on the bed feeling exasperated from worry "Then _what_ happened?"

Charles Carson was a man who always felt he had control of his words, he could give an opinion directly, he was honest and prided himself on being knowledgeable, he was not one to be overwhelmed when speaking with Lords and Dukes and the like. However like most men of his time there where certain conversations that where to be avoided whenever possible such as childbirth, intimacy and lastly things that he called the twisted laws of nature.

Carson got up from the bed slowly, grabbed his pajama's and headed to the bathroom. He returned shortly after looking more tired and worn out than when he had left. He placed his clothes on the chair and went and stood at the bedroom window staring out into the night. He turned to look at his wife who had waited patiently for him and began talking.

"Last night when I was in my room I heard shouting. At first I thought it came from below in the street so I went to the window to see who was making all that racket, but you see it wasn't coming from the street, it was in fact coming from next door, from Thomas' room. I thought something bad was happening so I rushed to his room" Carson stopped for a moment as if lost.

"Go on" Elsie's voice encouraged him.

Carson faced the window unable to look at his wife's face as he continued "When I opened the door I saw Thomas lying in his bed " Carson took a deep breath "and on top of him lay a man and the man was.." Carson's body shook violently as he choked on the last word ". _.naked!_ "

Elsie had no idea what to say, so many thoughts crossed her mind, had she heard right? Perhaps Charles thought he saw it all? Perhaps he had dreamed it? But he hadn't because the tone of his voice told her the truth.

"Charles come here next to me" she patted his side of the bed.

Carson hesitated as if afraid of contaminating her with his words, of staining all that was good and pure about her, but he needed to be close to her, he needed to be held by her, to hear her say everything would be alright even though it never would be, not for him.

He moved and lay by her side, she drew his head to her chest and he wrapped his arms around. She kissed the top of his head and stroked his back.

"Did you talk to him? Did he say anything?" she asked though quite certain the two men hadn't spoken.

"No. I don't know how long I stood before I could move, but somehow I made it back to my room. I got changed and packed my bag and just sat on the bed waiting for the sun to come up so I could catch a train" Carson explained.

"I assume Thomas did the same since you came back at the same time" Elsie asked.

"I didn't see him until I was at the station and saw him waiting for the train. We sat in different carriages"

"Charles you need to talk to him, to make sure you haven't made a mistake"

"Elsie I've made no mistake. I'll not talk to him about it, I'll not embarrass myself again"

"But -"

"No Elsie, I never want to talk about it again."

Elsie knew better that argue, she didn't want her husband to get distressed again, not after he seemed to be just a little calmer.

"Elsie"

"Yes?"

"I don't want Thomas sleeping here in the cottage anymore"

Again Elsie didn't want to argue "Yes Charles"

"I mean it"

"I am your wife, I love you" she assured him of her understanding.

B&B&B&B&B

"I don't care _why_ you left it there but you did"

"I'm sorry Mr Carson. It won't happen again" Andy reassured.

"Make sure it doesn't you idiot, Mrs Patmore could've had a serious injury. Get moving" Thomas snarled as he walked off.

"It's alright Andy, don't worry about it. He's got things on his mind is all" Mrs Patmore assured the lad.

Andy shook his head and got on his way. Daisy waited for him to disappear and then turned to the cook.

"What's happened to Thomas?"

" _Mr_ Carson you mean" Mrs Patmore reminded her.

"Fine, what's happened to _Mr_ Carson then? He's to touchy these day, nasty like he used to be"

"I don't know. He's not being nasty either, he's just tired, a lot on his plate at the moment"

"I saw him talking to his Lordship yesterday" came Mr Cromwell's voice as he entered the kitchen with a tea tray.

"Oh?" Daisy looked at the cook.

"Well don't look at me! I've not got a gift to read minds! Now get those apples and get started on desert."

Cromwell watched Mrs Patmore go into the storeroom and then spoke with a low tone to Daisy "He's leaving that's what he's doing"


	8. His Own Child

Tom Branson had returned later than the rest of the family as he had received notice of some deliveries of spare parts for some cars that he intended on selling and wanted to check them before agreeing. The business was going along well and soon he and Mr Talbot hoped to open a second shop in Ripon.

Upon his return his Lordship had informed him of Thomas' decision to leave. They had both agreed that it could not possibly happen and Tom had gathered enough courage to ask Thomas what had happened that night at the hotel, after doing so he went downstairs to find himself standing infront of Mrs Hughes.

"I beg your pardon Mr Branson?" Mrs Hughes had to steady herself against her desk.

"Did you not know Mrs Hughs?" a surprised Tom asked.

"No I did not"

"I'm sorry Mrs Hughes I thought you knew given that he is, that is, that you are family" Tom felt unsure as he spoke.

"Well I've been away these days as Mr Carson's not been well and Thomas has been too busy to come down to the cottage" Mrs Hughes gestured for Tom to take a seat as she closed the door to her sitting room.

"Mrs Hughes might you permit me to speak frankly?" Tom asked.

Mrs Hughes nodded, she and Tom had over time developed a strong friendship. The younger man had learnt to trust the housekeeper ever since she had helped him with the whole episode of Edna Braithwaite.

"What happened in London, I suspect was something quite shocking for Mr Carson to stay away from this house because he has never stayed away from Downton"

"That is quite correct Mr Branson"

"Yesterday Thomas and I spoke. I asked him why he was leaving and he told me it was best for him to leave for Mr Carson's sake, that he couldn't stand being close to someone who would find it too hard to look at his face and have to deal with false memories of him"

Mrs Hughes closed her eyes for a moment "Did he tell you what happened?"

"Yes he did. I wasn't expecting it to be sure, but I sensed he needed to be pushed to release his anger and so I pushed, it could have ended badly but luckily it didn't"

Mrs Hughes clasped her hands together on her lap as desperation settled on her face "I don't know what to do Mr Branson. I've not a clue. Mr Carson is adamant that Thomas not come to the cottage, Thomas hasn't spoken to me all day apart from discussing what needs to be done here at the house"

Tom nodded in understanding "Thomas insisted to me that it was all taken wrongly. His friend, or whoever he was, had drunk a bit and he didn't feel it was right to leave him on the streets so late at night. He brought him up to his hotel room and thought to let him stay until morning or at least till he sobered up a little and left of his own accord. He'd left him sitting on a chair half asleep and went to bed. Thomas changed and fell asleep, he doesn't know how long for but when he woke up-"

Suddenly the patterns on the floor became very interesting to Tom as he continued talking " His _friend_ was naked, on top of him" Tom looked up again at Mrs Hughes " He said that he yelled at him, that they struggled and he kept yelling at him to get off, they struggled a little more and that's when Mr Carson came in"

Mrs Hughes stood up and paced the floor a few times and then looked over to Tom. "Mr Branson do you believe him?"

"Yes Mrs Hughes I do"

B&B&B&B&B

"Ah Mr Bates, Mrs Carson so good to see you both" Reverend Campbell greeted the couple standing side by side chatting away in the morning sunshine.

"Always a pleasure to come to service Reverend" Bates replied.

"Has Mr Carson recovered? I'd heard he'd not been well" the reverend asked Mrs Carson curiously.

"Yes just about" Mrs Carson reassured

"And where is young Mr Carson? He was absent the Sunday past as well"

"His Lordship had unexpected guests arrive last night" Bates spoke up this time.

"Illness can be forgiven but one must never be too busy for the Lord" the Reverend lectured.

"Indeed" Mrs Carson replied without a smile and motioned to Bates that they move on.

"Well good day to you Reverend" Bates spoke up "We must be on our away"

"You will let young Mr Carson know that he shall be expected next Sunday"

"Too be sure Reverend" Bates responded as he and Mrs Carson turned to leave.

Reverend Campbell looked to Mrs Carson "Yes do be sure, even those twisted by nature and seek the road paved in sin are welcome"

"I _beg_ your pardon"? Mrs Carson was the epitome of manners but she was also a woman not afraid to defend the defenseless.

"Have I said something wrong in speaking the truth? I am merely inviting a lost sheep to the Lords table" responded the Reverend in a challenging tone.

Bates put a gentle yet firm hand on Mrs Carson's elbow and looked to the Reverend "Our family has no lost sheep and a Sheppard should remember when he is caring for sheep that are not his. Good day to you."

Mr Bates waited until they had walked away a good distance and then spoke "Do not pay him heed Mrs Carson, Reverend Travis will return this next Sunday" then he asked "Mrs Carson have you had a chance to talk to Thomas?"

"Mr Bates I have tried and tried, he dismisses me if I bring up the conversation" Mrs Hughes shook her head sadly "Things where going along well, not very good, but well"

"And Mr Carson?"

"Just like Thomas, he absolutely refuses to talk about it. He told me all that he had to say on the day he arrived" she looked up to Mr Bates with teary eyes "I don't know what to do anymore Mr Bates. My husband lives in denial and Thomas is leaving" she looked down away afraid to let Mr Bates see her falling tears "In supporting Charles I making Thomas an outcast, I am supposed to be his mother, we are supposed to be his family, his strength whenever he falls"

"Mrs Carson being a wife and a mother is never easy, my mother was often left at a loss with me, I was a rowdy boy and grew to be a difficult man. Mr Carson is a good man, set in his ways but good"

All Mrs Hughes could do was nod in agreement.

"Mrs Carson I almost forgot to tell you that the Dowager Countess asked if Mr Carson could present himself at her home tomorrow morning."

"I shall let him know Mr Bates."

B&B&B&B

Mr Pratt closed the door behind Charles Carson. He was of course greeted by the Dowager Countess Grantham who, as always sat in her chair with the view of the sunny garden behind her.

"My Lady" Carson greeted her.

"What is going on Carson?" as always the Dowager did not believe in wasting time, only fools had that luxury. 'Straight for the jugular' was one of her favorite mottos.

"I'm sorry My Lady?" Carson replied

"Mr Carson I have not reached my age by answering my own questions, if I had I would no doubt have been institutionalized" The Dowager bit back "This issue between yourself and young Mr Carson if affecting everyone, on top of which my son, _your_ Lordship, is beyond himself at having to loose another butler"

"I am not responsible for young Mr Carson's departure. I did not press him to leave" Carson informed.

"No you did not, you are however responsible in asking him to stay" the Dowager stated pointedly.

Carson swallowed his surfacing anger as he spoke "Forgive my impudence My Lady but he his a grown man and he alone is responsible for his actions. He is also responsible for all the consequences that arise from his actions whether at Downton Abbey or elsewhere."

"Ah now we are getting somewhere" The Dowager shifted in her chair pleased "You are right Carson, we are all responsible for our actions. We are also responsible for our reactions. Your many years as a butler taught you to make on the spot decisions whenever chaos threatened to ensue with your staff. In the mere seconds before you had to make those decisions you weighed out the consequences and judged which would be best dealt with after."

She looked straight at him "Why did you adopt Thomas?" It was a question that demanded no excuses be given.

 _Why had he adopted him?_ Carson thought for a moment _To help him I suppose? To make Elsie_ _happy? To give him security in the future? Why?_

"To help him and give him security in the future My Lady" it seemed the like the sensible answer to Carson.

"I see, and would not have Lord Grantham given him that security as he has given you?" the Dowager asked what seemed the obvious.

"Of course My Lady, I have no doubt" Carson was beginning to feel hot under his collar

"Then Carson _why_ did you adopt him?" The Dowager asked again.

"Mrs Carson and I have worked hard My Lady, we have through sacrifice purchased a home and we wanted to make sure upon our death it would be given to someone who could in turn value it and make it grow. Thomas had in a way, no family, nothing, so it seemed as the right thing to do"

"I see so a matter of convenience" the Dowager answered as if bored.

"No My Lady, we chose Thomas as he proved to have become a better person, responsible, kinder. We could see that he took pride in his work and that of others and above all he was loyal to his Lordships and the family. "

"Ah! Loyalty" the Dowager took her cane in her hand looking more regal "and have you been loyal to Thomas Mr Carson?

"I'm sorry My Lady?" Carson was actually puzzled by the question, wasn't he always loyal?

"You adopted him to give him security Carson. A father must be prepared not only to share his wordily goods with his children but also his heart" The Dowager cocked her head to one side as she saw Carson's un-comfortableness, she had found his weak point "Having a son is more than just sharing your name."

"I do not pretend to love him as a son My Lady" Carson was not afraid to be honest.

The Dowager Countess stood up and took a few steps forward "He sleeps in your cottage, he eats at your table, he works on your house, he pays for the well being of your wife's sister. He is your protégé and your successor, he respects you and now he is in utter agony as you shun him for something you have misinterpreted. You may not love him as a son but _he_ loves you as a Father"

"I do not believe he loves me" Carson growled

"Oh? How do you know this?"

"Do you think if he loved me he would of allowed me to find him with another man?" Carson spoke bitterly as the uninvited memory filled his mind.

"Mr Carson when you barged into his hotel room that night did you not notice that your son was lying under the bed covers fully clothed? And did you not think that if he was to sneak another man in his room that he would not have shouted for the world to hear? Did you not recall that the offender had stated earlier that he was married? Did you not ask yourself why a married man would risk such scandal with a man that he knew worked in a well known family? "

Carson face flushed like a flame, embarrassed as he became aware that the Dowager knew of every minute detail, unsure of how to respond he went with the safest answer "My Lady forgive me but even if it is as you say he has still brought shame upon his Lordship. What is to stop the man from talking?"

The Dowager smiled knowingly "His own child".


	9. A Cigarette

"How did you know about what happened Mr Bates?" Carson asked the Valet as they walked together. Carson knew the Valet would be waiting for him after leaving the Dowager house, they had shared a drink in the village and now they were heading to their respective cottages.

"Mr Branson approached me after he had spoken to Thomas, he'd told me that Mrs Carson was at her wits end with worry. I suggested that he ask the Dowager to talk to Mrs Carson, she can be quite forward but always seems to see right through people's fears and find solutions. I didn't think that she would speak to you instead" Bates explained.

"That she did Mr Bates. That she did". Carson looked up to the sky, it had only moments before been sunny but he noticed dark thunderclouds roll in "I suggest we move a little faster Mr Bates there is a storm on its way"

Bates squinted up to have a look "I believe there is indeed and a nasty one at that Mr Carson".

B&B&B&B

The raging wind and rains did not deter them and the thunder acted as their accomplice so when they had dragged him kicking and screaming into a small lane under the cover of the clouds darkness no one had noticed. Of the few people who where left on the streets all had one goal in mind, to seek shelter.

Three pairs of hands had done their work swiftly, their blows weren't wasted on clumsiness and rage, they were controlled, precise, they had done this before knowing the damage they were inflicting, knowing only a miracle could save the body before them.

"Right that's it lads, lets go" their leader ordered calmly as he loosened his grip letting the broken body fall to the ground. The two other men adjusted their coats that had moved haphazardly on their shoulders, they didn't question their leader. There were no last minute looks back and soon all three blended in with the other villagers looking for shelter from the storm.

The storm had raged late into the night but by early morning the sun shone again over the village church bell and down onto the streets, its light reflected on puddles of water scattered here and there. The village schoolboys always thought that kicking a ball around the puddles was definitely fun; it was their belief that it improved their already great skills.

"Aww! Did you have to kick it that high?" the young boy drawled after the ball flew over his head

"Go on! Go get it! 'sides you're the one who missed it" shouted his opponent with a roll of his eyes.

The young lad dropped his shoulders in defeat and turned to follow where the ball had rolled.

"Mr Mosley! Mr Mosley!"

Mosely was ever so the patient teacher and so did not allow himself to be flustered by a shouting boy "Yes Brian?"

"A body sir!" the boy almost crashed into Mosely with a wild look in his eyes "There's a body, a dead one! In the lane!"

"Duncan!" Mosely called to the senior boy of the school "Summon the headmaster quickly" and then he turned and ran into the lane where he had seen young Brian emerge, seeing the body he moved cautiously closer. There was blood everywhere, seeping into the water that lay under it, he could see one hand twisted into an abnormal position and was certain whoever it was, was dead.

Then he saw it, it was only for a fleeting moment and he thought he'd imagined it, but there it was again, the broken hand twitched. Mosely quickly moved closer and positioned himself infront of the body, he crouched down to speak to whomever it was, to let them know he was going for help when he nearly fell backwards from the shock.

He looked up as the head master approached together with Sgt Willis.

"Mr Mosely?" Mr Dawes the headmaster was afraid to ask the next question but Mosely understood.

"He's alive but barely, we must get him to the hospital."

"Who is it?" asked Sgt Willis

"It's young Mr Carson" replied Mosely gravely.

B&B&B&B

 _Internal Bleeding, broken fingers on his left hand, Skull, face, eyes socket and collar bone fractures, broken ribs, severe bruising of upper torso, deep gash under his eye. A miracle if he's not blind. If he survives the internal bleeding then there are months of recovery._

These were the words that greeted Mr and Mrs Carson when they arrived at the Hospital _You must prepare_ _yourselves_ he warned before accompanying them and Lord Grantham to see Thomas.

Mrs Carson took one look at Thomas, released a gasp and fainted _Tom_ _come and help!_ His Lordship had called out to Branson who had waited on the other side of the closed curtains. Carson lost in his shock to be of any use.

 _You must do all you can Doctor, spare no expense_ his Lordship had ordered. _There's not much I can do, only time will tell. As I said if the internal bleeding is only minimal then he has a chance to survive_ the doctor had reminded.

The weeks had passed and Thomas, in the silent world were his mind was had still managed to hold on. Mrs Carson was at his side day and night, washing him, applying creams and ointments on the all the cuts and bruises, caressing his hand and placing gentle kisses on his forehead when he seemed tormented in his deep sleep.

After more than a month it was deemed safe enough to have him moved to Mrs Crawley's house, they had all agreed it was best there in the quite. It was closer to the hospital should any emergency arise.

Sgt Willis had informed Lord Grantham and Carson that the culprits had been caught. A description from one of bar maids at the Grantham Hotel had helped. The three men in desperation for a lenient prison sentence confessed to have being been paid by Harry Barrow. They had waited apparently for a few days before taking their opportunity when Thomas had gone to buy some ink favored by his Lordship. Now all four of them languished in prison for many years thanks to Mr Murray's insistence.

Sgt Willis wasn't sure whether his Lordship and Carson were relieved or angry since both of them remained silent, then again he thought if Thomas had been his son it, or someone dear to him, he'd most probably be angry that he couldn't throttle old man Barrow himself.

Carson had managed to coax his wife into letting others help reminding her that she would be of no use to Thomas if she got sick. They had many volunteers from other staff members and villagers who wanted to help, even Lady Grantham came along one day a week. The Dowager had visited on a number of occasions bringing with her fresh flowers to brighten up the room.

Carson came in that day as he did every afternoon to allow Mrs Crawley a chance to rest a few hours. He pulled his chair close to the bed where Thomas lay and began as he always did by informing him of the villagers he'd met on his way who sent their best wishes, how Reverend Travis had returned and was praying for him and looked forward to seeing him at church as soon possible, how little William Bates was for sure to be as tall as his namesake,

Above all how Master George would come downstairs every morning and ask Mrs Hughes how his friend was doing and _could he send him a drawing together with an orange?_

After drinking the tea that Mr Pratt had bought him he began talking about the house of Bruncker Rd. "The bathroom and Kitchen are complete, I quite like the tiles used in the kitchen as they have a burgundy bordering, Mrs Patmore came and tested everything and seemed quite satisfied and she even suggested we put a fridge but that will have to wait. The rooms look quite nice and Anna has done a splendid job of the curtains and of course Miss Baxter added her touch by sowing the most beautiful bed spreads, little lavender flower patterns here and there."

He finished his tea and put the cup down on the tray and sighed sadly at Thomas thinking of all the hard work he'd put into the house, feeling rather the fool knowing at one stage he'd felt pushed to one side when it hadn't been the case at all. After being railroaded by the Dowager he had naturally felt angry, offended but once he had calmed down the realization of how he had managed the whole episode in London and after it made him ashamed.

For Carson had come to the difficult yet honest conclusion of his reaction to what had happened. He had been shocked, even though he realized that it had not been Thomas' fault he knew that one day temptation would come knocking on the door. He had believed that if Thomas stayed away from such temptations then it could be avoided, that they could live as if all was normal. But he couldn't, whether it be bad luck, fate or whatever, eventually something would happen.

Then he had realized that Thomas had thought exactly like him. Thomas had thrown himself into his position as the butler of Downton, learning all he could about the wines to maintain its high standards, taking an interest in his staff and making sure the boat had not been rocked by the absence of their much loved older butler, he made sure that his Lordship felt that indeed a younger Carson was capable of filling the shoes of the older Carson.

Then on top of that he carried the role as the primary carer of his parents, making sure that Carson remained stress free to be able to deal with his tremors thereby occupying all his free time with the house on Bruncker Rd, ordering whatever was needed, talking directly with builders and carpenters, then on top of that budgeting his pay to help Mrs Carson's sister, to help his aunt.

They had both hoped by staying away from unplanned trips to London or wherever it would happen to be, Thomas would be avoiding temptations and would therefore avoid problems. Life however taught them a very valuable lesson that no matter how much one planned there was never total control of life, of fate or whatever one wished to call it.

Carson sighed looking down at his polished shoes and then he remembered something "I have forgotten to tell you that we put in the phone at the house. His Lordship insisted on paying for the installation. It's standing at the corner of the flower table in the dining room, under the window. Your mother used it for the first time to ring your aunt, not that she really understood but I could hear a number of happy squeals coming from the ear piece" Carson chuckled a little remembering Becky's happy gibberish.

"Its about bleedin time" came an answer.

Carson's head snapped up, his eyes focused on Thomas' lips "Thomas?"

"Hello Mr Carson" Thomas managed a weak smile

"Hello my boy" Carson smiled back his eyes brimming with tears.

Thomas let out an emotional laugh that turned into a grimace "I could do with a cigarette right now"

"We'll see what your mother has to say about it" and with that Carson stood up but before heading out of the room he looked to Thomas, his eye brows furrowed and his face glowing with a tenderness not often seen " You're not leaving" he stated gently and then he dashed downstairs to call his wife.

"Charles what is it? What's happened" Elsie almost screamed down the phone in panick.

"He's not leaving and he wants a cigarette" Carson stated.

" _What!? Who!?"_ she was at the point of hysterics.

"My son of course!" Carson thought his wife could be quite exasperating at the most inconvenient times.

" _You mean he's awake!?"_ Elsie cried on the phone.

"Of course he's awake, no son of mine takes life on without a fight" Carson answered proudly " _or two_ " he added.

Carson listened as he heard Elsie call out to Mrs Patmore giving her the news, Mrs Patmore inturn run out into the hallway screaming at the top of her lungs the good news to be followed by cheers and tears by the remaining staff. Someone offered to go tell his Lordship, he was sure it was Andy. Then he heard a scurry of footsteps and emotion filled voices enter his wife's sitting room, all apparently grabbing his wife in embraces.

Carson felt a bit silly waiting silently with the phone in his hand and boomed into the mouthpiece hoping she would hear "Elsie! Elsie!. I say Mrs Hughes!.. love!.. can he have that cigarette?"

The End

(Hope you've enjoyed it! And thanks to everyone for the Reviews and advice!)


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